Sientir's Blog

Last year I decided to start a new annual tradition : reviewing the previous year and setting objectives for the coming year. A new year has begun, which means that it's time to continue this tradition by looking back on 2024 and looking ahead to 2025! Note that this year will be a bit different from last year. You see, this year I have last year's goals to review, whereas last year, I didn't, as I'd just started the tradition. That means things will be structured a little bit differently this year. Looking Back on 2024 I had a number of goals for 2024 of things I wanted to work on. They were: better sleep discipline, watch less YouTube (and game more), better portion control, make substantial progress on my game, stream a few times per month, knowing God's love for me more deeply, and developing community and relationships. Let's review these! Better Sleep Discipline Last year I said I wanted to be better about getting to bed, but the focus was actually on gett...

When I think about things I'd like to be different in my life, the most significant changes are relational. I want to get to know a few more people, but to also have deeper relationships with the people I do know. However, I've identified something that gets in the way of both of those things, which is an assumption that others are judgmental. This assumption leads me to try and present myself to others in ways that I think will get their approval; often, this is through censoring my actual thoughts and likes. In other words, I find myself hiding parts of who I am from others to try and manipulate them into not socially rejecting me or otherwise enacting socially-devastating (albeit nebulous in specifics) consequences on me. Needless to say, this underlying, emotionally-driven perspective impedes my ability to develop relationships with others. If I want to find those with whom I can connect, I have to reveal myself. This revealing of my personality feels scary, sure, but what ...