Sientir's Blog

It was on a Sunday morning—that of August 25, 2024 to be exact, when church was starting—that God gave me a revelation, not unlike others He has given me in the past. It's the kind of revelation that gave me understanding of something about myself that had been eluding me. In this case, it was the way church and church culture, at least in the ways I've experienced them, have been a stumbling block in my ability to know God, desire Him, and feel desired and loved by Him. We Christians represent God to the people. I think He's chosen to make us His ambassadors because He's a big fan of free will—it's kind of necessary for love, after all (you can't force genuine love). So in a very real sense, Christian culture, and more directly church culture, paints a picture of God. Unfortunately, this picture is often inaccurate in many ways, as it's affected by the world; for me, the most warped part has been the way the church has so often adopted the world's conce...

Lately I've found myself wondering if the science-fiction dream of colonizing the stars isn't just a human dream, but one God has for us, too. This is pure speculation, of course, but it doesn't come from nowhere. You see, I found myself wondering if people would have children after the Resurrection. The Bible doesn't say one way or another, though some interpret something Jesus said in such a way as to come to the conclusion that people won't have kids, but I'll talk about that later. There is one thing that is clear regardless: after the Resurrection, humans will be immortal, which makes having children problematic due to issues that arise with an ever-increasing population. Over the last couple of centuries, we've seen concerns over population growth, with fears that the number of people would outstrip resources, such as food. You see, population rates exploded when medical advances reduced mortality, especially child mortality, but people were still havi...

I first began poking around OnlyFans (and can't claim to have done much more than that) because I thought it would be a good way to get to know sex workers and nude models. These are two kinds of people that I want to know, but doing so in person has seemed improbable to me. OnlyFans therefore looked like it might be a good way to connect, a thought which makes superficial sense if you understand how the website is structured. OnlyFans (OF for short) is set up a lot like a social media website with solid monetization options. This contrasts with something like an impersonal video site or store front. Like other forms of social media, OF provides you a feed of creators you've subscribed to and a messaging system. Creators can set their subscription fee to zero to create a free account, or they can set a monthly fee for access, much like any subscription service. In many ways, its feature set is similar to Patreon, a website I'm already quite familiar with. This social-media...

I recently read a Tweet by Hana Wu where she said, "A way to reframe and reflect when you're feeling stuck 💗" as a caption to the following quote, attributed to vlonelylulu on Twitter: "Someone told me 'whenever your life is feeling stagnant or as if nothing is happening, that means you're being given the time & space to heal & release the baggage that you cannot carry to where you're meant to go soon.'" This sentiment has been dwelling in my mind since I read it for the simple reason that I have been feeling stuck lately. There are a lot of ways I want my life to change, but this quote has gotten me thinking...what baggage do I need to release, what healing do I need? As I pondered this, something fascinating happened: I began to synthesize things I'd previously processed individually, seeing how they fit together. Put another way, the process of healing feels like a spiral, where I come back to the same ground over and over, but e...

I've been finding myself particularly drawn to stories of adventure, where a group of 3-5 people come together in common cause, and through their journey, form unbreakable bonds of friendship. It's a common occurrence in a lot of media and is part of the broader concept of "found family"—that is, the family you find journeying through life, rather than the family you were born into. As the old (oft-misunderstood due to being abridged) saying goes, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." The reason I've been drawn to such stories is because I have a common human desire for comradery: I want companions, a group that lives life together. My problem is that I'm a somewhat introverted homebody who also works from home. While I do thankfully live with my biological family (which spares me some amount of loneliness, especially as I get along well with my sister), and I have a number of social activities that help, none of these th...

The changing of the year is both a time of looking back on the year that was and a time of looking forward to the year that lies before us. I think both practices are valuable, and I'm finding myself wanting to reflect on the major events of 2023, while also looking ahead to how I want to focus myself in 2024, with a particular intention towards building on and continuing the places of growth I experienced last year. Let's begin in the past, then look ahead to the future! Looking Back On 2023 As some of you may know, I have a Patreon , and for that Patreon, I write a daily diary entry I call Dear Patrons...  wherein I share events of the day and things I'm thinking about. I first write these up as a text document that I carefully name to give me a summary of something about that day that was important to me. This served as an excellent resource for reviewing this past year, and it meant I didn't have to try to rely on my memory. Indeed, there were many things I'd do...