Sientir's Blog

I've been watching a lot of anime lately, and there's a common paradox (or hypocrisy, if you prefer, though I think that's a bit harsh; my point here is to do a fun bit of analysis, not criticize the way media works) that I've observed that I want to talk about, but before I can, I need to make sure everyone reading this is familiar with the concept of Doylist and Watsonian lenses for analysis. The terms "Doylist" and "Watsonian" were inspired by the Sherlock Holmes novels, and they're used as shorthand for different perspectives on stories. You see, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote the Sherlock Holmes stories, but in the universe of Sherlock Holmes, John Watson wrote them. Thus, "Doylist" is used to refer to the perspective from reality; that is, taking a work in relation to our world and what is really happening before the audience. On the other hand, "Watsonian" is used to refer to an in-universe perspective, much like the pers...

Last year I decided to start a new annual tradition : reviewing the previous year and setting objectives for the coming year. A new year has begun, which means that it's time to continue this tradition by looking back on 2024 and looking ahead to 2025! Note that this year will be a bit different from last year. You see, this year I have last year's goals to review, whereas last year, I didn't, as I'd just started the tradition. That means things will be structured a little bit differently this year. Looking Back on 2024 I had a number of goals for 2024 of things I wanted to work on. They were: better sleep discipline, watch less YouTube (and game more), better portion control, make substantial progress on my game, stream a few times per month, knowing God's love for me more deeply, and developing community and relationships. Let's review these! Better Sleep Discipline Last year I said I wanted to be better about getting to bed, but the focus was actually on gett...

When I think about things I'd like to be different in my life, the most significant changes are relational. I want to get to know a few more people, but to also have deeper relationships with the people I do know. However, I've identified something that gets in the way of both of those things, which is an assumption that others are judgmental. This assumption leads me to try and present myself to others in ways that I think will get their approval; often, this is through censoring my actual thoughts and likes. In other words, I find myself hiding parts of who I am from others to try and manipulate them into not socially rejecting me or otherwise enacting socially-devastating (albeit nebulous in specifics) consequences on me. Needless to say, this underlying, emotionally-driven perspective impedes my ability to develop relationships with others. If I want to find those with whom I can connect, I have to reveal myself. This revealing of my personality feels scary, sure, but what ...

I've been finding myself thinking about marriage a lot lately. I've had a lot of questions. What is marriage, really, if you boil it down? Why does marriage exist? I write here today to ponder these questions (and more), and I really mean ponder . I'm typing this up as a way to force myself to think through these ideas and get them out of my head. I don't know that I'll find any answers in so doing, but hopefully it'll leave me with something to share with others to get their input. These thoughts have been prompted by a number of things. One of those things has been reading about the history of misogyny as recorded in Naked Feminism: Breaking the Cult of Female Modesty  by Victoria Bateman . Another has been people I follow online, primarily on Twitter, who have presented ideas and concepts about sex and sexuality that were foreign to me, ideas that raise questions in my mind. One of those big questions is: what is  sexual immorality? As I've pondered the S...

It was on a Sunday morning—that of August 25, 2024 to be exact, when church was starting—that God gave me a revelation, not unlike others He has given me in the past. It's the kind of revelation that gave me understanding of something about myself that had been eluding me. In this case, it was the way church and church culture, at least in the ways I've experienced them, have been a stumbling block in my ability to know God, desire Him, and feel desired and loved by Him. We Christians represent God to the people. I think He's chosen to make us His ambassadors because He's a big fan of free will—it's kind of necessary for love, after all (you can't force genuine love). So in a very real sense, Christian culture, and more directly church culture, paints a picture of God. Unfortunately, this picture is often inaccurate in many ways, as it's affected by the world; for me, the most warped part has been the way the church has so often adopted the world's conce...